So hey! It’s me again 🙂
I have been in a really bad funk lately. It’s just a life thing. The youngest is graduating in two days and reality has begun to sink in. I am fifty years old and for thirty of those fifty I have played the role of mom. It is really all I have known for my entire adult life. Feed the kids, clothe the kids, get the kids to practice, make sure the kids do their homework, make sure the kids graduate school. It is done and now what?
Well beings that I am an avid Podcast junkie I finally moved away from Podcasts that had to do with murder and serial killers into the realm of self awareness and self motivation. I didn’t do this with any particular purpose in mind. I just did. Now that I have. I can’t un-hear what I have heard, nor can I un-think the thoughts that are running through my head. There is one person in particular that has touched something deep inside of me and has made me start to think with a purpose. Matt Prindle is a twenty-something young man from Portland, Oregon. He reminds me so much of my younger self. My un-jaded, un-hated, un-scared self. The me before life through me some sucker punches that made me doubt the me I was supposed to be.
So where is all of this going? I have had this blog for almost three years. The problem was never the blog. It was me being indecisive. What should it be about? Where am I going with it? What is it’s purpose? Then there is my procrastinating tendencies. Well, I will figure it out tomorrow. I wasn’t always decisive. Back about fifteen years ago I had a very successful blog with a ton of follows, but my family discovered my blog and went ape at what I had written on it. After a year long feud I finally took my blog down and swore I would never do it again, but I love to write. I love to write and share and in my heart hope that maybe someone can relate to what I am sharing and that maybe, just maybe I can help someone who is going through something similar in their own lives.
All that being said I am approaching my blog with new eyes and a new goal. It isn’t a normal goal, but one that may even be slightly self-serving at best. I am going to face my life 21 days at a time. It takes 21 days to cement a get an old habit out of our psyche and approximately 66 days to create a new habit.
In thinking about why I started blogging and what I hoped to achieve I began writing down all my ideas, thoughts, hopes, dreams, and goals. First and foremost I wanted to reach out to other people who may be going through the same things. I wanted to be able to express my ideas and maybe leave some small mark on this great big planet. Then the reality struck. I have to think of something to write everyday? I suddenly had nothing to say. My mind was a giant blank canvas without a cohesive thought.
If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.
Oh! So change it is. That started out as my original goal and so it shall be. The change has to come from within though. 21 Day’s at a Time.
My new habit: 66 days of blog posts. Regardless of how I am feeling or what I am focusing on I will spend a portion of each day writing. Even if at first the words come out in the form of a toddler learning to express themselves for the first time I will write. Like anything else in life without work and practice there can be no growth, no change, no substance.
Breaking the bad habit: 21 days of not smoking. Yes, I have decided that this is going to be what I will be doing for the next 21 days of my life. I have been a smoker for a very long time. I have tried and fail to quit multiple times, but as I was working through what I was going to work on for the next 21 days of my life it was this. So my friends do not be surprised if some of my posts lean towards the dark side as I allow my body to discover what it means to not have smoke filled lungs. I am making this public announcement as a way to cement the idea into my head that this is the goal and that my success and failures will be up for public scrutiny over the next three weeks.
Quit time: 8:00 pm on June 7, 2017
Thanks for joining me and for holding me accountable. If you have any stories to share about what helped or didn’t help please feel free to share them. I could use all the help I can get at this point 🙂