Today has been a day full of revelations for me. This challenge will most likely be repeated because it is not going as planned. I suppose that is often the case when we begin something that is out of our comfort zone.
Each day I learn something new about my smoking habit. With each new realization it is getting easier and easier to change my habits. I already touched on the habit part. I have broken the morning coffee/smoke habit. I actually thought that was going to be the most difficult. I also touched on stress as a factor.
Today I can honestly say that it was habit causing me the most difficulty. I combated part of it with a ten mile bike ride. I just have to add here how proud I am of that accomplishment! I went for a nice long walk, edited some pictures and tried to stay busy. Then I ran into a friend and we stopped for a beer and she handed me a smoke and yep! Like coffee in the morning a beer and a smoke seem to trigger something and in my brain that says “Hey, if you are sitting outside having a beer and chatting, why aren’t you smoking?”
It is very frustrating to me that I am still haven’t completely quit, but I think it is a positive thing to be learning and trying to change as I go. I never really thought about why I smoked. I just did.
I am an unusual smoker in that I hate just about everything that is smoking. I hate the smell, always have. I hate the taste. I hate the wrinkles that are coming to soon as a result. I hate the fact that I love to run, but smoking has slowed me down. I just do it brainlessly.
I was thinking today about the things that I will gain as a result of finally quitting. My clothes and hair will smell better. My food will taste better. My wallet will be heavier. Running will get easier. Apparently it could also lower my blood pressure (bonus)! The most surprising revelation has been the time I have gained back into my life. I really never thought about how much time I spent smoking. I don’t smoke in my home so I have to go outside. Of course while I am smoking I can’t be editing photo’s, doing art work, or enjoying a good movie. I am outside smoking. Suddenly I have extra time and I am getting more done. I never even considered this aspect of quitting.
Well I am proud to say that although the quitting has been hard, I have managed to write about this journey each day 🙂
As a side note the picture I chose for today’s post is one of my new favorites. I was walking around Skippack today and just enjoying the beautiful weather with my camera. I saw this gentleman sitting in front of a comic shop. He wasn’t originally looking at me and I just wanted a picture because there was something so nostalgic about him. Suddenly he turned and gave me the biggest smile. I got my picture and a wonderful ten minute conversation. Another bonus. I didn’t have a smoke in my hand so I was able to approach him and enjoy the conversation.
Good night! This day has worn me out.